notworthallthis: (Default)
[personal profile] notworthallthis

PSL with [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Word association: Guilt
2. I need advice on ways to politely say "fuck you on your way to hell."

Date: 2023-02-26 08:57 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (focused)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[Breakfast had been a little awkward. Not in the she couldn't stand it way, just -- in that way that she was 15 and he was an adult and apparently there's a good chance they're related but they're also basically still strangers. Knowing who he really is may have alleviated most of the distrust she reserves for the majority of adults, but she's still a little wary on principle alone. She'd been skeptical of Steve too, at first, but he'd proven himself worthy of trust relatively quick.

The car, at least, provided more of a sense of ease than the cafe, because the car meant he had to focus on driving, and they had the radio as a buffer. She finds herself staring out the passenger window more often than not, but occasionally sneaking quick side glances at him, too. They look nothing alike, really. It doesn't mean they aren't related, of course -- lots of people are related that don't share common appearance, but it does make it a little more difficult to wrap her mind around.]


How did you...find all this out, exactly? That we might be related?

Date: 2023-02-28 01:01 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239739)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[So one of the other Avenger-types, she assumes. She supposes which one specifically is kind of irrelevant on her part. She looks out the window again, considering for a long moment before something else occurs to her, something that makes her stomach drop a little.

What were the chances that the Avengers hadn't looked into her mom's life beyond the basics? Into her life? Although, she reasons, she's only 15, so maybe they hadn't cared that much about her own. Then again, it was the Avengers. Would they be that reckless? To not do their job at vetting his potential family?

She presses her lips together before drawing in a breath and trying to ask as casually as she can:]


What else do you know about me?

Date: 2023-03-02 11:15 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239749)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[His admission both surprises and relaxes her. It's not expected, and for a moment she does wonder if he's being honest. But -- she knows a lot of liars and he just doesn't strike her as the type that would lie about this sort of thing. She exhales, watching him uncertainly even as he winks at her.

The part about that behavior not being how you should treat family makes her throat tighten and she looks away, tugging absently at a loose string on her jacket.

What does she want him to know about her? She's not sure yet, really. So instead:]


Did my mom tell you about Billy?

Date: 2023-03-03 02:35 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239750)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Yeah, she's -- it's not you. Really.

[And that she knows for a fact.]

Billy is -- was. My stepbrother. He died a few months ago. [On the Fourth of July, actually.]

Date: 2023-03-13 11:02 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239790)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[She tries to smile at his 'I really wasn't prepared for that' because she does appreciate the honesty of it. She lets out a shuddering breath, though, when he asks if she wants to talk about it. She stares out the window for a long time, clenching and unclenching her fingers.

She wants to spill everything, the whole terrible story. But most of it's not even hers to tell. Would it be right to tell it?]


There was -- an incident. At the mall. A lot of people died. He was one of them.

[She watched it happen; frozen in place, as a giant monster from another dimension murdered him.]

My mom and stepdad haven't -- been dealing with it very well.

Date: 2023-03-13 11:25 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16242175)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[Some of it's definitely coached language. She'd been forced to sign no less than a dozen NDA's just to get to go home after things at Starcourt Mall had gone pear-shaped. But some of it's also her, afraid to say too much and possibly get her friends in trouble.

But the question there is -- difficult, too. Because of said NDA's and fears.]


The official word was a fire. [Her voice is hushed, but he can probably guess what she means from that alone, so she'll leave it there.]

Everything's been pretty shitty since then.

[She's not even sure how to answer it, all the way, in any sort of coherent way.]

He hated me. And - I didn't hate him, exactly, but we weren't close. I guess when our parents got married neither of us was what the other wanted in a sibling.

Date: 2023-03-13 11:52 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16278983)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Sounds about right.

[A fire couldn't be farther from the truth of what happened. But the government can't have word getting out about monsters. At least not since the Avengers weren't involved in that one.]

Both, really.

[Home has been particularly awful, the fights between her mom and Neil getting worse every day, which is why she hadn't really hesitated when he'd offered for her to come along on this little field trip.]

It has to be quiet. [And hers. No one else cared about Billy. Even his dad had treated him horribly and her mom had ignored all of it, every time Neil had gone after him.] No one else would understand. He -- no one really liked him. He was --

[She's not sure what word is really appropriate.]

Like a stick of lit dynamite.

Date: 2023-03-14 01:02 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239739)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[She lays her head back against the headrest.]

Billy had a way of tormenting people. Me. My friends. [She still can't hardly think about what he'd done to Steve that night. If she hadn't intervened -- Billy might have been in jail and Steve might have been dead. Probably would have been, given the beating her stepbrother had dealt out.]

It wasn't really his fault. I mean, it was but...he was just doing what he knew to do.

Date: 2023-03-16 02:15 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239739)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Depended on his mood. [She paused, exhaling.] He liked to yell. And break my things if I pissed him off. Sometimes he'd drive too fast to scare me. Or -- pretend like he was going to run people over, run them off the road. [She grew quiet for a long moment.] Sometimes it was worse. He went after this guy I liked -- and when another friend intervened, he beat the hell out of him. Almost killed him.

[Her relationship with Billy had been complicated until that night, never knowing what might set him off and cause him to fly into a rage. When she'd ended up threatening him with a nail bat to his balls, though, he'd kept a healthy respect for her after that, mostly.]

But...he cooled down a bit after that. Not that he wasn't still an asshole -- but he didn't really mess with me or my friends anymore. [Until he'd gotten possessed by the Mind Flayer, of course. But that hadn't been Billy at all.]

But...yeah. You're right. [Her voice is hushed. Hurt people hurt people had been Billy in a nutshell.]

Date: 2023-03-24 12:59 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (down depressed upset)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[It's the most she's talked about Billy with anyone, really. She tended to bottle things up and keep quiet. Maybe it really is easier to talk to someone she doesn't know very well. The soft Jesus Christ, though, makes her tear up for some stupid reason. She holds her breath for a moment, blinking a few times to try and hold them back instead of letting them fall.]

Yeah. Still sure you want to be part of the family?

[There's no bite to her tone, just...flatness. Because she won't blame him if he decides that nope, this life is not for him. She's not sure this life is for her most of the time anymore.]

Date: 2023-04-15 03:13 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16279032)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
[She appreciates that he doesn't call her out on the tears. But she raises her eyebrows when he says that.]

Well. We definitely weren't the Brady Bunch, that's for sure.

Date: 2023-04-22 02:05 am (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (ookay)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Oh, I don't know. I have a friend whose family that's pretty close. Only two kids though, not six.

Date: 2023-04-29 03:18 pm (UTC)
beyourzoomer: (pic#16239750)
From: [personal profile] beyourzoomer
Yeah, maybe. [She considers for a long moment, then glances at him sideways.]

What was it like? For you, I mean. Growing up.
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