{Let's go get lost anywhere in the USA

[notworthallthis]

{Maybe together we

can get somewhere...

❤

PSL w/ imperfectsoldier

✏️ Bonfire meme

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[imperfectsoldier]

[ It takes him that week to get things organized. He does use the time to get as much off his plate as he can. He does not request time off. The closest he comes is telling Nat what the plan is, and having her get him a cheap pre-paid phone so she can contact him if shit starts hitting the fan.

Given her approval of the plan and just being Nat, she's not going to call them back unless necessary, but will pull him back if he's actually needed and that... is good enough. Cause his 'real' phone will be blowing up back home, where they're not going to be.

No GPS with the phone left behind is more perk than problem; they've got maps and 'head west' is easy enough even if they didn't.

He figures that most of this trip they'll go and stop as they want, but the first day? The first day he pushes it. Because he's putting distance between them, New York, expectations and in some ways even reality.

The sun is down and he's tired by the time he stops the rental car at a regular old Motel 6 in Ohio.]

I haven't seen that many cornfields in my life. [Bemused by that one, and losing a fight to get the door open.]

[notworthallthis]

[Steve pulled everything together over the week and it was kind of nice to let him make most of the choices. Sometimes, he sinks into a space where he just gets too fatigued with options.

When they were in the car, things were better. He felt lighter as the lights of the city started to fade into night.

Bucky laughs at that.]

I have... [He admits, taking the key from him to unlock the door and push it open.] My Ma had family in Indiana, we visited a couple of times. Lotta corn out there, too.

[He turns to help Steve with their bags. Bucky's belongings, even on a trip like this, are pretty minimalist. He figures anything that didn't fit in his bag could be bought along the way.]

I'll drive tomorrow. [He likes driving. His mind calms down a bit on long drives and it's pretty nice.] But what do you want first? A nap or food?

[imperfectsoldier]

[ Steve won't claim he understands it, exactly, but he knows it's there, it makes sense, and he's basically compassionate. When he needs to take things off Bucky's plate, he does it. Not without some indication or at least idea that it's needed, tries not to overstep it, but does where he can.

He's not packed much heavier than Bucky. Basically the backpack that he drops once they're inside and the door's locked overs everything he needs, minus his shield, which he slides under the bed without much thought beyond being able to reach it if he needs it.]

Driving is all yours tomorrow, and as many days as you want it. My brain is done for. [ Steve likes... high speed driving on motorcycles?] You good for just ordering food in, for tonight? [See also: weird mental fatigue for him from the 'sustained attention but make it boring']

[notworthallthis]

[He chuckles lightly and nods.]

All right, I'll take that. [Anything that he can take off Steve's shoulders for the duration of this trip? He's taking it.

He sinks down on the foot of the bed, glancing around the room, taking in their temporary home for the night; it's pretty simple and sparse, bed, desk, wardrobe, tv.]

Not too bad, I guess. [He's certainly slept in worse places.

He glances back over at Steve.] Yeah, that's fine. I'm sure they've got takeout menus around here somewhere. Or we can DoorDash.

[imperfectsoldier]

[Steve checks the bathroom on his circuit through, almost out of habit, before he comes back to sit further toward the headboard than Bucky, open the nightstand drawer and look for those take out menus. He grabs two of the six, and hands them to Bucky.]

I'm good with either of those. Or anything you pick off ...DoorDash? [He knows it's a thing, he knows Bucky likes it, he's not familiar with it.] Play our cards right we might both get through a shower before they get here?

[notworthallthis]

[He isn’t even a little close to tired enough to say what just wandered through his mind– something about saving time if they just go together.

He can feel his mouth quirk upwards in a ghost of a smile and he just hopes Steve didn’t notice before the neutral-stoic look slips back over his face.

He leans back and takes the menus Steve offers and finally flops onto his back against the mattress, glancing over the choices.] Mexican sounds really good right now. [He tilts his head back to look at Steve— a smile flickers across his face. He stage-whispers: ] You’re upside down. [He laughs softly at his own stupid statement, but that smile is still on his face.]

[imperfectsoldier]

[ Steve is inexperienced and possibly too concerned about and careful with Bucky.

He isn't shy or naive, though. There's one bed in the room, and he's got lube in the bottom of his backpack - just in case. Being asked if he wants company in the shower probably isn't going to break him.

Meanwhile he drags his fingers through Bucky's hair, but also rolls his eyes - with a faint smile.]

You're a regular stand up comic. You have any problem ordering my food for me? [ As in: Can you pick it out? He's pretty basic with this stuff, at least.]

[notworthallthis]

Mmm… don’t, you’ll put me to sleep. [But even as he tells him so, Bucky leans into the feeling of his fingers in his hair. It feels good, sue him.

At the question, he nods.] I know what you eat. Go get your shower.

[He fishes his phone out of his pocket to put in the order— he can’t wait for the delivery person to show up, it’s always a little entertaining when they see just him and the truckload of food on the order, no evidence of any kind of party going on in the background behind him.]

[imperfectsoldier]

Thanks for the cheat code on how to get you to sleep, if you start having a hard time on this trip.

[ He does stop, but not without a gentle tug and not until Bucky's got his phone out. Then he grabs a pair of sweats out of his bag and heads into the bathroom.

He comes back after a moment and throws his wallet back onto the bed beside Bucky. Then gets into the bathroom and started showering. ...There will be hot water again by the time Bucky's ready to shower. As long as Bucky's ready to shower after they eat.

Otherwise, Steve will have used it all, because he's not coming out until he's run it out or food arrives]

[notworthallthis]

[He grins widely at that comment and swipes Steve’s phone up from the bed to order their food while he’s in the shower.

By the time he does eventually make his way out of the shower once again, the food is already spread across the table in the corner of the room, possibly a bit more on top of other flat surfaces around them— the nightstand on the side of the bed closest to the table, the dresser that the small flat screen tv sits on top of.

Bucky glances up and smiles when Steve joins him again.

He teases lightly: ] Is there any hot water left ?

[imperfectsoldier]

Nope. [ And he's not even slightly apologetic about it, or the cloud of steam that came out of the bathroom with him. He refolds the clothes he'd been wearing and puts them back in the backpack.] Get there faster, next time.

[Also teasing, but pretty comfortably and looking just slightly bewildered at the amount of food. He shouldn't be. He knows both of them and that is, in fact, just about dinner for them. Still.]

Did you order the entire menu twice?

[ No more complaint than apology. He's starved. And looking rather less imposing than usually seen in public between the wet hair and clothes that are actually comfortable instead of just well fit.]

[notworthallthis]

I’ll keep that in mind. [He chuckles softly. He already knows how he’ll resolve that for next time.

He catches that look and lifts his eyebrows.] What, too much food?

[Sometimes it’s still jarring how easy it all is to come by, so he gets it.] Thought you were hungry.

[Bucky’s gaze lingers a little on the sight of him; it’s not like he’s never seen Steve in casual clothes, but there’s still just something about the look that catches his attention. Can anyone really blame him?]

[imperfectsoldier]

Not too much; I'm starved and you've gotta be too.

[ Steve eats... a lot. Bucky eats... a lot. There's physical demand and a lot of novelty and feeling of luxury in both the amount and ease of availability and the variety.]

Besides, it's vacation. Eating's apparently about half the point. [He grabs not one but two of the food boxes and hands one to Bucky, before crawling in the bed to sit with the headboard as a backrest. Casual clothes and... more there as an entire person because it's Bucky and he doesn't have any need to be Captain America just then. That... isn't something pretty much anyone else living gets to see.]

Thanks for doing this with me.

[notworthallthis]

To say the least. [It’s such a chore sometimes, but less so these days than it used to be, at least.

He mutters a thanks and takes the offered takeout container before taking his own boxes to join Steve on the bed— comfort is so much more important than it once was, too.]

You don’t have to thank me… I wanna be here. [He smiles and leans over to press a kiss to his cheek, as if to punctuate that statement.]

[imperfectsoldier]

[There's more freedom and choice in it, now, even for Steve. More so for Bucky, Steve figures, even if sometimes the decision fatigue makes it hard again. Still better than it used to be.

He starts to take a bite of his taco, gets kissed on the cheek and turns to Bucky with a faint smile, then leans in and kisses him on the mouth like he's done it a million times before and just because it makes sense. ]

I'll be grateful for what I want... but I'm glad.

[Then takes a bite that's actually about half his taco]

[notworthallthis]

[Steve catches his lips against his own and Bucky feels something inside just… melt. There is still a small smile on his face when the kiss ends.

He focuses his attention back to his food, popping a bite into his mouth.

With his free hand, he plucks the remote off the bedside table and finds some random tv movie for background noise. For a pretty stoic and stone-silent kind of guy, he mostly hates complete silences.]

[imperfectsoldier]

[ Steve continues to eat with one hand, but uses the other and just... pets Bucky's hair. That? Is not new. Not by a long shot. Not for him. It's not sexual, it's not even a romantic gesture. It's Steve using rhythm and familar presence and sensation in a way that sort of grounds him and lets him relax, much the same way Bucky is using sound.]

I keep thinking this is supposed to be harder.

[notworthallthis]

[He can’t even stop the way he tilts his head into the touch. It doesn’t distract him from his food, for now, though that might change at some point.]

What do you mean?

[imperfectsoldier]

[He makes a low, amused sound. He also hesitates a little, but.]

This. All of this. Dancing. Road trips. Kissing. Just... relaxing. It doesn't feel like it should be this... easy?

[notworthallthis]

You’re just always waiting for the other shoe to drop. [He gets that. There is always another fight, another threat, another, another, another. It never ends, and it’s hard to set that down even when some part of you knows you should.]

But I think we’ve more than earned a little ‘easy’ in our lives.

[imperfectsoldier]

[It never ends and he made a promise, and -]

Well, one of us has. Maybe if I get restless enough I'll start a barfight and you can pull me out. It'll be like old times.

[Not a chance in hell of that happening, actually, because he doesn't have the same chip on his shoulder. Also? There's an edge of humor in his voice and a hint of a grin. Him earning easy? Not sure he buys it? Bucky? He'll defend what peace he can make happy for Bucky with everything he's got.]

[notworthallthis]

How the hell d'ya figure you haven't? [Because he already knows that's what he means. And it isn't true. Even taking his own personal feelings out of it– objectively, with easily measurable results, Steve has earned his rest as much as anyone else ever might.

He snorts at the idea, shaking his head. His words have a sing-song quality to them: ] Wouldn't put it past you.

[Does he think it'll actually happen? No, but it's also not completely outside the scope of possibilities.

He also realizes Steve places himself at the bottom rung priority, which...is something Bucky has to make sure doesn't always come true. That's kind of always been the nature of the pair of them, though. Neither of them would ever let the other forget that no matter what the world was doing or telling them:

They always had each other. And that meaning has just grown a little deeper.]

[imperfectsoldier]

[ The only answer Steve gives to that is swinging one leg off the bed, and kicking the shield just under it with his shield, resulting in a muffled, metallic ringing noise. He will eventually get killed 'in the line of duty', or be forced to stop just because he has run completely out of the... mental and emotional resilience to keep doing it the way it needs to be done.

Until then, he's going to take the time he can carve out with Bucky, take it for Bucky both in the literal sense of getting Bucky some time away and by giving it to himself.

There is a definite kind of balance between them and always has been. Bucky pulling Steve out of shit, Steve pulling Bucky out of shit. Steve willing to try for himself because that also helps Bucky not have to do so much heavy lifting on his behalf.

Meanwhile he snorts a little in amusement and is forced to admit:]

You probably shouldn't. Less of a hair trigger doesn't mean I don't have a temper. Push the wrong buttons and there's gonna be a problem -- and probably more property damage than I can pay for.

[notworthallthis]

[He sighs softly and shakes his head, making the silent vow to continue making Steve take care of himself… by framing some things he wants Steve to do as something he thinks might be good for him— he’ll always do anything he thinks Bucky needs in any manner at all. It’s manipulative, but it feels like it’s in good reason.

He finishes off the food in the containers he’d brought over with him from the table and gets up to put the trash away.

A smirk flickers across his lips and he can’t help the bit of sass or the wink that comes after he says: ]

I’ll push your buttons however I want.

[imperfectsoldier]

[ Steve's got some issues, but he will absolutely be eating, drinking, enjoying this road trip and time with Bucky.

And keep being solid and stable enough to take care of other people, who will, at least in Bucky's case keep an eye on him. That Steve will pretend not to notice.

That remark though makes him laugh, even while he's settling down on his sides.]

I can't even tell if that's a promise or a threat. You wanna enlighten me?

[notworthallthis]

You know… [Once he’s done putting things away for now, Bucky turns back toward Steve, grinning wildly as he climbs back onto the bed with him.] two things can be true.

[With that statement, he pushes his way into Steve’s space, foreheads pressed together before he starts a soft trail of kisses down the bridge of his nose before catching his lips gently against his own.]

[imperfectsoldier]

[Steve falls back some when Bucky returns to the bed, in a way that's all about making physical space for Bucky. Meaning his complaints about having his space 'invaded' do not exit.

He's actually kind of laughing when he does it, even at the kisses down the bridge of his nose.

Then there's a real kiss there, and Steve slides his fingers into Bucky's hair and returns it. Softly and slowly for a moment, sweet even, and just pure affection. Then almost abruptly groans and deepens it. Keeps his hands loose and open like he's afraid of... upsetting Bucky, but there's some definitely 'not platonic' and 'not chaste' going on.

Just carefully.]

[notworthallthis]

[There's a deep rumble of something like approval from the back of his throat that tapers off into something softer when Steve's fingers wind through his hair.

His mouth splits into a smile against Steve's lips and he nips lightly at his lower lip, playful, and mumbles: ]

C'mon... I'm not made of porcelain. [He chuckles and chases him for another kiss, a little more intense at the start this time.]

[imperfectsoldier]

Aren't you? [ Dry and wry and mumbled against Bucky's lips. Then he goes back to the kiss, with a lot more intensity. A groan that's soft but solid, teeth coming into play as much as tongue as he deepens it and his fingers tightening.

He's still... checked, but a lot less soft now that he's got verbal reassurance.

Not what his plan for the road trip had actually been - in specifics. In being needed and part of relaxing, unwinding and just being people? Yeah. Probably. This feels pretty right.]

Flips us to prose bc I’m on my phone and lazy

[notworthallthis]

“Hardly,” he murmurs back, sinking deeply into that kiss. Every shift and tug is met with an equal reaction,

The firm press of fingers search along Steve’s side, trying to find purchase at the hem of Steve’s shirt. Push the material out of the way to trail eager fingers across smooth skin.

Bucky nips playfully at Steve’s lip when he slowly, so slowly, pulls back. Space for air, but only just enough, because he doesn’t want to go very far.